


Scar Tissue

by GhostCwtch



Series: JaegerconBingo Fills [5]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Angst, Bipolar Disorder, Discussion of self harm, Gen, Scars, Tattoos, discussion of medication for mental health issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-09
Updated: 2013-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 22:53:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/918960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostCwtch/pseuds/GhostCwtch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermann sees more than Newt is comfortable with during their Drift.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scar Tissue

**Author's Note:**

> My fill for "scars" on Jaegercon Bingo

One thing Newt hadn't counted on from the Drift is that Hermann stares at the scars now. Thy're next to impossible to see, covered in several layers of ink (and it had been a real bitch getting tattooed over that much scar tissue), but Newt can see Hermann trace those invisible lines with a gaze that feels like hot coals across the surface of his skin.

Everyone has scars these days, and no one asks any questions. It's the latest, biggest taboo: _The first rule of post K-Day life is "Do not ask about scars_." Hermann doesn't need to ask though. He knows now what it's like in Newt's head when everything gets too loud and the easiest way to get some of the anxiety out, the let the pressure valve off just a little, it to open up a slice of skin, a slice of life, and let it flow out with the blood.

He doesn't have many of that type of scar. There are stretches of time, sometimes several months together, where he feels fine, feels stable. In a way, those months are more dangerous than the ones where he feels invinsible or the ones where even breathing is nearly too much of an effort. Because if he's felt fine for so long, maybe it's just in his head, maybe he's not really sick, he's just dramatic. A hypochondriac with a genius level intellect that convinces him the he has a disorder that people suffer from and he's just a faker. And since he's realized that, this will be the time that it finally, _finally_ stays.

It never is. He can pretend and lie to himself as much as he likes but it isn't going to change his brain chemistry and it isn't going to change the fact that Hermann knows the level of choking desperation that scored those ragged lines into the most vulnerable parts of his flesh.

Every time he catches Hermann looking, the urge to scream gets hard to surpress.


End file.
